How “Are We Compatible?” is calculated
Each person describes their own style on 16 statements (0–3). For each of eight dimensions we keep only the mean of your two statements. Alignment on a dimension is 100 minus the gap between your mean and your partner’s, scaled to 0–100. The overall alignment is the plain average of the eight. Nobody ever sees the other person’s answers.
This is a comparison of two self-descriptions, computed with rules you can read below. It tells you where your styles are close and where they differ. It does not — and cannot — tell you whether you are "meant to be", and we never present it as a compatibility percentage.
What each person answers
Each participant answers 16 statements about themselves, two per dimension, on a four-point agreement scale: not like me at all (0), a little like me (1), mostly like me (2), very much like me (3). The statements describe preferences and habits ("I need a break before I can talk during a disagreement"), not judgements about the other person.
The eight dimensions carry equal weight (12.5% each):
| Dimension | What it covers |
|---|---|
| Communication | Immediacy, and the channel you prefer for hard topics |
| Trust | Default trust stance, need for reassurance |
| Conflict | Pause first or talk it out now |
| Affection | Physical affection, small daily attentions |
| Autonomy | Time alone versus time together |
| Money | Planning versus spontaneity, pooling |
| Life plans | Clarity about the next years, children |
| Pace | How fast a relationship should move |
What leaves your device
Your individual answers stay in your browser. The only thing sent to our server is one number per dimension: the mean of your two answers (0 to 3, two decimals). That is what the comparison is computed from, and it is the only thing the other participant can indirectly see — never a single answer. Read our privacy notice for the details.
Per-dimension alignment
For each dimension: alignment = 100 − (|meanA − meanB| ÷ 3) × 100, rounded to one decimal. Identical means give 100; opposite extremes give 0. Each dimension is then labelled:
- Aligned — alignment of 80 or more (a gap of 0.6 points or less)
- Close — 60 to 79.9
- Different — below 60 (a gap of more than 1.2 points)
When the gap is 0.75 or more, the result also says which of you leans more toward the behaviour the dimension describes. That is a direction, not a judgement: needing more time alone is not better or worse than wanting more time together.
Overall alignment and levels
The overall alignment is the weighted average of the eight dimension alignments — with equal weights, the plain average — rounded to the nearest whole number:
- 0–49 — Very different styles
- 50–69 — Some big differences
- 70–84 — Mostly aligned
- 85–100 — Strongly aligned
The result lists the dimensions where you converge (aligned, highest first) and the ones where you differ (different, largest gap first). Ties keep the table order above.
Why this is not a compatibility percentage
Similarity is not compatibility. Two people who both "need to talk about it right away" are aligned on communication and may still argue constantly; two people with opposite conflict styles can do very well once they know it. What the numbers can do is name the differences that never got named. That is why the result comes with a conversation prompt per dimension rather than a verdict, and why we chose the word alignment.
Determinism, versioning and testing
The comparison is a pure function of the two sets of dimension means and the test version: the same inputs always give the same output. It is covered by regression fixtures (identical, opposite and one-step-apart participants, the lean threshold, seeded pairs). An invitation records the test version it was created with, and the second participant is compared with that exact version even if a newer one is published in between.
Intended use
A shared starting point for a conversation, taken separately and read together. Not a validated psychometric instrument, not relationship advice, and not something to take alone about someone who did not agree to compare.
Are We Compatible?
A free two-person compatibility test. You answer, your partner answers separately, and you both see where your styles converge and diverge — without seeing each other’s answers.
Start the test